then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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