I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
tell me about the fingering
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