At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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