I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
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