That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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