Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
