How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
