This is not my ceiling
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
