is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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