Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
