I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
