I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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