need another drink. this is the easiest way
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
