he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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