I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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