I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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