he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
