i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize