Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
