Christians are straight up FREAKS
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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