I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
