How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
