I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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