Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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