Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
