I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
