When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize