it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
bring money and cleavage
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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