so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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