I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
