Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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