She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
