Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
