I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
