Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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