If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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