I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
