When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
