So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
