I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
