is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
