This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
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