make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
