saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Bring me that man meat
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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