Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
