cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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