Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
