Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
