what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
