D3 body, D1 cock
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".