Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

How do you jack off and text at the same time?

(1-281): View more from Texas

On my iPhone they have an app for that

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(281): How do you jack off and text at the same time? (1-281): On my iPhone they have an app for that http://tfl.nu/2tk7

Replies (84) Good night (31877) Bad night (2151)
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(352): View more from Florida

I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.

(352): View more from Florida

Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.

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(352): I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself. (352): Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad. http://tfl.nu/hkrc

Replies (41) Good night (1725) Bad night (4208)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.

(971): View more from Oregon

Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.

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(971): I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it. (971): Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated. http://tfl.nu/1c8f

Replies (7) Good night (4639) Bad night (658)
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(650): View more from California

Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th

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(650): Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th http://tfl.nu/8el9

Replies (16) Good night (2228) Bad night (4577)
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(207): View more from Maine

At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.

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(207): At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/nn7l

Replies (9) Good night (2226) Bad night (891)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.

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(803): I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something. http://tfl.nu/acd6

Replies (4) Good night (1572) Bad night (891)
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(914): View more from New York

we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.

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(914): we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant. http://tfl.nu/6asp

Replies (11) Good night (2696) Bad night (907)
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(217): View more from Illinois

how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?

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(217): how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you? http://tfl.nu/250l

Replies (1) Good night (612) Bad night (1484)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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(701): All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats. http://tfl.nu/27ky

Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (1225)
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(619): View more from California

My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.

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(619): My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard. http://tfl.nu/ktvr

Replies (17) Good night (1532) Bad night (646)
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(303): View more from Colorado

My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.

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(303): My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you. http://tfl.nu/ugo1

Replies (19) Good night (833) Bad night (1627)
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(801): View more from Utah

If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.

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(801): If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment. http://tfl.nu/t8v8

Replies (2) Good night (813) Bad night (402)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.

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(617): ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles. http://tfl.nu/rw8b

Replies (4) Good night (650) Bad night (369)
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(440): View more from Ohio

he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.

(440): View more from Ohio

he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.

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(440): he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received. (440): he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick. http://tfl.nu/0dsn

Replies (10) Good night (1341) Bad night (415)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.

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(608): Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver. http://tfl.nu/0dvj

Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (205)

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