Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead

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(303): View more from Colorado

This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo

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(706): View more from Georgia

dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction

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(352): View more from Florida

I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.

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(571): View more from Virginia

you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.

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(831): View more from California

Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.

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