Texts From Last Night

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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

  (1-620): View more from Kansas

  No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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  (620): Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night. (1-620): No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man. http://tfl.nu/p24k
  Replies (9) Good night (1596) Bad night (662)
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  (914): View more from New York

  he puts the penis in happiness.

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  (914): he puts the penis in happiness. http://tfl.nu/m0tk
  Replies (29) Good night (4910) Bad night (760)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead

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  (513): I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead http://tfl.nu/yu41
  Replies (17) Good night (6218) Bad night (1174)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.

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  (217): My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you. http://tfl.nu/w1fj
  Replies (26) Good night (5099) Bad night (1087)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.

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  (313): No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/6118
  Replies (11) Good night (956) Bad night (3943)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?

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  (907): is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk? http://tfl.nu/2ehj
  Replies (26) Good night (7333) Bad night (1045)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked

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  (607): Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked http://tfl.nu/f67s
  Replies (25) Good night (4999) Bad night (886)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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  (240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51
  Replies (98) Good night (28194) Bad night (2162)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.

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  (815): He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests. http://tfl.nu/wip0
  Replies (5) Good night (1442) Bad night (2751)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.

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  (423): By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time. http://tfl.nu/7ckj
  Replies (15) Good night (3318) Bad night (1257)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.

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  (406): I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes. http://tfl.nu/2xtl
  Replies (6) Good night (3038) Bad night (782)
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  (585): View more from New York

  just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use

  (716): View more from New York

  how?

  (585): View more from New York

  not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days

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  (585): just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use (716): how? (585): not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days http://tfl.nu/m616
  Replies (13) Good night (2146) Bad night (655)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."

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  (716): he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...." http://tfl.nu/2b45
  Replies (5) Good night (929) Bad night (2171)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We're like a dynamic duo.

  (1-647): View more from Ontario

  Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.

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  (647): We're like a dynamic duo. (1-647): Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud. http://tfl.nu/eexc
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (396)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.

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  (502): I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/8x6n
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (197)

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