Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed

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  (303): A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed http://tfl.nu/q5pw
  Replies (7) Good night (1700) Bad night (570)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha

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  (330): You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha http://tfl.nu/wuor
  Replies (21) Good night (3813) Bad night (685)
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  (845): View more from New York

  My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet

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  (845): My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet http://tfl.nu/jo6v
  Replies (29) Good night (1060) Bad night (3807)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.

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  (218): it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger. http://tfl.nu/p87j
  Replies (10) Good night (6014) Bad night (1291)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd

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  (807): yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd http://tfl.nu/28g8
  Replies (39) Good night (11047) Bad night (1349)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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  (618): i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer http://tfl.nu/zm3w
  Replies (24) Good night (8472) Bad night (1501)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.

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  (585): Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven. http://tfl.nu/xlkq
  Replies (9) Good night (6393) Bad night (1089)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.

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  (973): I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/dg43
  Replies (4) Good night (3828) Bad night (943)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.

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  (970): I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive. http://tfl.nu/p82j
  Replies (4) Good night (2337) Bad night (1460)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Yeah I know, the people below me already told me

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  (416): You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony (289): Yeah I know, the people below me already told me http://tfl.nu/uh03
  Replies (5) Good night (2903) Bad night (740)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I DIDNT GET FINGERED

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I was rubbed

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  (778): This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room. (604): I DIDNT GET FINGERED (604): I was rubbed http://tfl.nu/4nvv
  Replies (9) Good night (2464) Bad night (676)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?

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  (778): I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/gequ
  Replies (6) Good night (797) Bad night (621)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.

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  (203): also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them. http://tfl.nu/9avq
  Replies (4) Good night (1166) Bad night (577)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.

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  (561): She thinks Jesus was an astronaut. http://tfl.nu/koey
  Replies (11) Good night (958) Bad night (590)
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  (212): View more from New York

  It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.

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  (212): It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy. http://tfl.nu/fsqc
  Replies (0) Good night (800) Bad night (319)

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