508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
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BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
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I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.