Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??