I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
