he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
