I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
