oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
