remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
