Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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