Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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