I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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