How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
