You smell like stripper and shame
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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