You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize