like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
