just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
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I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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