oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
