it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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