No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
