All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
